For a long time I wondered, what the hell was I. I don't know why I thought putting a label on myself would make me feel better but I always thought it would.
Growing up I always thought I was Guatemalan. Why? I don't know. I lived in Chicago, Illinois a.k.a the United States of America. Maybe it was because my parents were Guatemalans? Although they always told me I was American?
It wasn't until undergrad that I thought of myself as Guatemalan -American. Guatemalteca por que mis papas eran Guatemaltecos, and thus I swore I had Guatemalan blood. And American bc I was born and lived in the U.S.
But that did not last long. I soon started realizing that I still wasn't like everyone else... who everyone else? Well 1st generation Latinos, you know, children of immigrants. I didn't have their accents, I didn't share their communities and I sure as hell didn't dress like them. But that - is a whole other story. I digress.
In undergrad, I started noticing I wasn't like all the other hyphenated Americans - Italian-American, Irish-American, German-American. People's families who called themselves the latter had been in the U.S. for years! My family a.k.a my parents had 19 yrs being here. That's when I decided I was a first generation Guatemalan American.
Well I wish it could end there. Then.... I started working in the corporate world and going to Law school. Then I realized not only was I a first generation Guatemalan American, I was a first generation Guatemalan American woman! ahh.... just another noun to add to my beautiful label.
Well, I wish I could say, that revelation, that ability to label myself did wonders for me...... pero no. I think it has gotten me closer -to what - I don't know but definitely something.
God, I hope this blogging thing goes well. I have no clue if anyone will read it or if it is even going to make sense - as I have always been told- YOU WRITE LIKE YOU SPEAK, pero ahi vemos. Siempre lo e querido hacer.
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