Fuerte, Feo, y Formal

I am asked if I am pregnant about twice a month. Anyone who thinks I am exaggerating has only to go out with me a couple of times to realize this is 100% true. I remember being 13 when my neighbor told me... "You must be having triplets because that is two big for even twins!"

I am chubby! Always have been and I especially carry my weight in my stomach. So, yea it sucks and I try my best to be in shape. Its hard. I LOVE being active but its hard for me to loose weight.

But then I get annoyed bc I think I am fine how I am. I tell everyone I don't think Im pretty but I sure am nice and sincere. But as I have grown up - aka now in my middle twenties when everyone and their mama is getting married - everyone finds it their business to tell me to loose weight or I wont have someone love me! My mom even told me I am a $50 ring but look like a $10 ring which is why people don't cherish me.

I find that absurd as long as I am fine with myself isn't that what matter. I know I lead a crazy fucking life with 3 jobs, law school, family, and 5 non-profits I belong too. I try to my make my HEALTH a priority not getting skinny.

But lately everyone keeps pointing it out like it upsets them. I don't understand. Usually, I can brush it off but yesterday it showed me some events where I cannot forget it because it is right there in my face.

We went out to a dance club last night with a bunch of girlfriends for Shelly's bday. As I was getting ready, I realized fuck.. I love dancing but hate going to clubs with my girlfriends. Why? Because they are all super cute and SKINNY and get asked to dance while I end up standing there waiting for them to be done. It sucks. It makes me feel so ugly. Now, like I said. I know im not hot but I know im a nice person. But I am thinking that really doesn't matter when you want a partner, a relationship. And THAT, makes me sad. So, as I am sitting there all alone and feeling pretty ugly I start thinking ... maybe I should loose weight - stop what I am doing- and focus on loosing weight.

But then I think, if I do loose weight how the fuck will I ever know if someone will love me for me? Ugh॥ this my friends sucks......

Inspired by Caramelo……
Feo, Fuerte, y Formal
Twenty-five year old first generation Guatemalan American. Bilingual. Nice, sincere, and passionate. A social activist, who is very out spoken. Chubby – especially in the mid section. Curses like a sailor and loves like Sahiry. I am extremely ambitious and goal-oriented. Adventurous and loves the outdoors. Impulsive. Doesn’t want kids but is open to rethinking it later in life.
Looking for a man from thirty and up… must be socially conscious and spiritual. Hard working but loves life. Happy and family oriented. Not a drunk or machista. Loves music, adventurous, and Compassionate.